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At the time, I hardly noticed how shallow my list really was.
When I called my sponsor back, she said not to bother reading her the list but to consider that everything that I like in a man reflects who I am, either what I want to be or what I am available for. Was it true that I was really projecting all these shallow things and wasn’t invoking principles, or at the very least available to them?
We truly are like adolescents when we get sober, reliving things we avoided with drinking and using.
I didn’t know these feelings, the pangs and highs and lows, could be so intense, as I was always able to medicate myself against it, until now.
In relationships with these men, all our abandonment issues will be ignited, our sense of self will diminish, and our Higher Power becomes a secondary consideration.
I’d even go so far to say that the man becomes our Higher Power.
In a great book by Clarissa Pinkola Estes called Women Who Run With Wolves, she talks about how we manifest our inner predator in the outside world and go about setting the bait to attract said predator.
Not always, but when we are a state of compromised selfhood, you betcha.
RSS By: Ashley Dane Follow Your Bliss is the blog of Ashley Webb Dane, a mother of two teenagers who has been in recovery for five years.
She is committed to carrying the message of the spiritual aspect of recovery and the empowerment of women in recovery.
We basically create this archetype of a man who will do damage, and then invite him right in. It doesn’t mean the man himself is bad, it just means that in the scenario he is going to have with us, we don’t give him room to be anything but a predator.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating