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What are people doing in Collinsport that they’re too busy to notice Episode 249: That Room with Those Things Liz and Jason finally let Carolyn and Roger into that room in the basement, and everybody walks around on Paul’s grave.

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Also: Barnabas, Sam and Burke play dialogue chicken.

Episode 227: Sick Day Maggie feels drained this morning.

Episode 211: Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner Jason visits the cemetery and makes a new friend.

Episode 212: The Collins Blood We learn several reasons why you shouldn’t play in a haunted house.

We go through the checklist, plus: triple backacting.

Episode 228: Those Things in That Room What things? Epsiode 229: Thirst World Problems Maggie’s lost a lot of blood.

This is technically suspenseful but you have to be pretty generous about it.

Episode 239: Local Girl Mysteriously Disappears An undead ghoul from the 18th century kidnaps a waitress from the local coffee shop, puts her in his dead girlfriend’s wedding dress and takes her on a make-believe date. Episode 240: Open House We review the appropriate security protocol for vampires who have a hypnotized girl on the premises. Snuffleupagus Another etiquette lesson for the criminally insane: How to react when you find uninvited guests hanging out in your house with your brainwashed girlfriend. Woodard thinks he’s going to find out who kidnapped Maggie by looking at her blood tests. Woodard shows up at the Old House and asks Willie for another blood sample, which is a totally normal thing that doctors do.

Introduction: Satan’s Favorite TV Show Barnabas Collins appears at the White House to frighten underprivileged children.

Episode 210: Opening the Box We break into the mausoleum, find the secret room and open the mystery box.

Episode 254: The Summer of Love Carolyn has another awesome evening with her dreamboat beatnik boyfriend.

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