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No, I am not saying this is the say all end all on the debate.

The good person in you won’t want to hurt them (your opposite-sex friend) or your spouse because neither one deserves to be hurt. These situations can seem complicated, but they are actually quite simple to understand.

*Disclaimers* Yes, you can have friends of the opposite sex.

Think of it as more of a warning, than a “hammer and judge.” This article is written from a long-distance perspective, with only ONE story to back it.

Of course there are other situations that may vary. The heart behind this article is to bring light to a topic rarely talked about, and open the inter-webs for healthy discussion on the matter. While Audrey and I were weathering our long-distance relationship and growing further apart, I was hanging out with this girl almost every day, and we were inevitably growing closer together.

Here is my experience with this type of situation: While I was in college in Santa Barbara, I had a good friend that was a girl. This started to cause a lot of issues with Auj and I… Audrey had asked me many times to stop hanging out with this girl as frequently as I was. I was wrapped up in my “harmless” relationship with this girl.

Simultaneously, Audrey and I were in a long-distance relationship. but I couldn’t understand why, because in my mind we were just friends, maybe even in her mind too. There came a time where, despite my lack of understanding at the time, if I wanted a healthy relationship with Audrey, I had to say goodbye to my friend.

But in the “down” season, that opposite-sex friendship could become a destructive wildfire – and one that is very hard to extinguish.

During that “down” season when you start having issues, disagreements, and fights with your wife, conveniently you have a female friend who understands you, will listen, is “always there for you,” and is fun and easy to talk to.

When you find yourself torn between where you should spend your effort and energy, the answer is likely your spouse.

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