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Once you tell him how great he is, he doesn’t know why he should write back. But the tone of that email should be flirty, funny, and challenging – the same as the email from a man that gets your attention.

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I totally struck out, which wasn't particularly surprising at the time. By this point in my life I had come out of my shell, all that, so I decided to try online dating again. By the end of my time doing this I had discovered many key tips and best practices for online dating, as well as many "copy-and-paste" message templates that routinely had a response rate hovering around 75%.

so why didn't what I knew how to do work online? I began doing this the only way I knew how: through disciplined experimentation and testing.

It’s a bit counterintuitive, but if your first instinct is to compliment him and explain your value, you’re not demonstrating that you have any value.

Once you put a man on a pedestal, he’s automatically looking down at you.

Here is my question: Are men ok with women sending introductory emails to them? In some ways, I see a email hello similar to a come-hither look at a bar, etc.

but in other ways it seems very aggressive and therefore a turnoff to most men. Dear Jane, Your question brings up two of the most common mistakes that women make in online dating:1) Waiting for Men to Write to You First 2) Telling Him What You Like About His Profile First things first: Men LOVE it when women write to them. If you have an attractive photo, interesting essay, and you’re in his target demographic, why WOULDN’T he be excited to hear from you?

and he doesn't stand out from the pack at all ... If you're a guy, never ever wink; if you're a girl, wink away. Once someone's intrigued by your message, they'll often visit your profile to see what you're about. Remember that people have many, many options when it comes to who they message on these sites, so your profile must impress while simultaneously avoiding any red flags (of which there are many).(Like with profile photos, I'm sure I'll go into greater depth about online dating profiles elsewhere).7. There tend to be roughly two types of profiles on dating sites: a) long, sophisticated, intelligent ones and b) short, immature, one or two sentence ones.

there are so many things wrong with messages like this one).(Likewise, a little bit much ... It's still better to send a message, even if you're a girl, but at the very least winks are acceptable for women. Your message style should match their profile style.

And they should be an "open loop" of sorts that inspires curiosity and makes them want to click to read more.

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