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And did they ever: My inbox is packed with e-mails from couples whose sex lives got better after the wedding. But we were both in our early 40s and ready to settle down.

I was a very experienced woman (five years as a swinger and partners numbering in the high double digits) when I first met the man who would become my husband. We also had an amazing friendship, and we were never as happy apart as we were together. We went from once a month to a couple times a week. It's not as frequent as it once was, but it's really good when we have it. Am I the first or the hundredth person to write in? I suspect you don't see it in your inbox very often because this isn't what most people would consider a problem and we don't want to waste your time!

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I was deeply ashamed of my sexual interest even before my mother discovered my porn when I was 14 and told me I was a pervert that no decent woman would ever want.

When I met my wife, our sex life was okay—but I was never fully present, because I would have to concentrate on my fantasies in order to sustain an erection. My wife knew I was masturbating in the middle of the night instead of having sex with her, and that led to some enormous fights.

So I told her about my kink, fully expecting that it would result in the collapse of my marriage.

We didn't speak about it for a week, and then she calmly asked me if I wanted to do this with her instead of just watching porn about it. I have some physical ailments that can make sex painful.

"Here's something I've never seen in my inbox: a letter from someone explaining how sex with their partner was infrequent, impersonal, uninspired, unimaginative, etc.

at first but—holy moly—the sex got a fuck of a lot better after the wedding," I wrote in my response to IMDONE.

I had trust issues and guilt issues—boring stories—and I got a lot more comfortable once we'd made that commitment.

Now we have two kids, and we have sex almost weekly. ) I doubt it's the norm, Dan, but that's what happened with me.

Better Erotic Ties Totally Enhanced Relationship Last week, I responded to IMDONE, a woman who married a man despite the sex being "infrequent and impersonal" during their courtship.

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