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(And let’s be honest, the main reason we swipe is based on looks.) Gay beauty culture is as pervasive as it is toxic. Get off gay dating apps, or if you need some advice about how to use Grindr in a way that you don't go insane, take a look here.As corny as it sounds, you need to learn to love yourself. Often times, we got so caught up in trying to find a man that we completely forget to spend time with our friends. Conversely, making sex the secondary acquisition can also be a home run. After all, if he thinks you're afraid, you probably are, and your sweaty armpit stains will rat you out!

You need to do what’s right for you, and not aspire to these ideals that, honestly, don’t work for the majority of queer men out there.

Believing you’re more than your appearance is a lot easier said than done, especially in a time when most of us meet our partners by swiping right. It can really make you hate dating (and all men for that matter).

Think of it this way: If you can step out of the closet, you can certainly step out of your rut! It's you being truly you, so let your authentic self shine. If every date you go on with a gay guy leads you to say, "He was nice, but ... Well, it depends on your position — no pun intended.

Now what activity would be so out of the box for you, it might put you in a space to meet new guys, make friends with people who have gay friends or try a new hobby? If you really want a guy who appreciates monogamy, then hanging out with people who have open relationships probably isn't the best place to meet Mr. From sex to finances and family to intellectual awareness, letting your true desires show up doesn't make you weak, weird or wacky. The more you make excuses for why your gay dating life is the toilet, the less chance of it shifting in a positive way.

The more you dial in, trust yourself and stop second-guessing, the more you'll rely on your own instincts and create the dating situations that are right for you.

But baby, you gotta trust yourself because their ain't no one else that's gonna do it for ya.

Whether it's a first date, casual dating or dating to mate, gay guys face the same challenges as everyone else.

The only difference is they do it with class, sass and still get a piece of ass when it's done right!

But fret not, because there are men out there who are just like you, and it only takes finding one to make you forget all the other failed attempts at love.

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