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I’m not sleeping with my ex because I want hassle-free sex.I’m sleeping with a person whose company I actually enjoy—I want his pillow talk as much as his foreplay.
What happens if one of us starts to think about getting back together for real?
What happens if one of us starts seeing someone else?
)—reached out a few months ago to reestablish a much-missed friendship. W., a therapist who works with couples, tells SELF. Unsurprisingly, one of the major advantages has to do with sex.“In a scenario where romantic love isn’t brought into the bedroom, there can be the possibility to explore more," Matt Lundquist, L. Who cares if they think your latest sex fantasy is weird? W., a therapist specializing in dating and sexuality, tells SELF.
Then things got physical, and apparently The Ex and I aren't alone.“Young adults have friends with benefits increasingly because they’re not interested in any type of commitment,” Laurie Sloane, L. “But at the same time, people want to be connected to another person in some limited way.”Bingo. Removing commitment from the equation can add an element of liberation in the bedroom and beyond.“People can learn a lot from playing house,” Brenda Lewis, L. “You practice with a safe person, and then you can hopefully put on your training wheels and go out into the real world.”Luckily in today’s modern era of dating, there's no shortage of potential sex partners.
That could be a sign it's not working, or it could be an opportunity to process, work through it, and continue.”The fact is, no matter how good the sex or how starkly truthful the conversation, feelings are messy.
But the labels on what my ex and I have are irrelevant—we aren't what we aren't, and we are what we are.
Though it often occurs naturally, there should at some point be a clear conversation when you ask each “do we want this to progress? Learn how to strike a balance Another important consideration is that “if your friend feels the same way as you do, and you transition into dating, work to continue acting the same way you did before the relationship started.
Don’t suddenly act closed off or start trying too hard just because you’re dating.
Read more: Top ten tips for an office romance But does this tell the whole story?
It seems like it is becoming more normal to begin a serious relationship like this, too.
“It’s a very temporary state that’s tricky to balance.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating