Dating cohabitation and marriage
"There was no hesitation; it just seemed like what you do." "We never articulated sex as bad because we were not married," said Al."So it was perplexing to me why Alicia felt the way she did.Knowing that you can be vulnerable and your spouse will not use sensitive information to hurt you is another form of intimacy.
Cohabiting before marriage generally means that at least one partner is not ready to commit to a permanent relationship. They might be censoring their words and actions to put their best foot forward, lest they lose the relationship.
In other words, what you see may not be what you end up getting. For example, the couple may avoid sensitive subjects that they fear will disturb the relationship.
This total commitment is possible only in marriage. Couples should “never go further in one bonding area than you have gone in the previous.” The risk of disappointment and going beyond your safety zone will not bring you lasting happiness.
As you move towards marriage, it’s important to make sure that sexual intimacy builds on other kinds of intimacy and does not short circuit your knowing each other on many levels. Steps leading to sexual intimacy, however, are not the whole of what intimacy is about.
Studies (Whitehead and Popenoe, 2002) show that: Why does living together before marriage to prevent divorce end up harming one’s marriage?