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It’s not this ethereal cloud that, if you’re lucky, happens to float down on two people and, ‘Aw, you’re in love.’” —Brother Michael A.

Goodman, associate professor at BYU “Love is a process, not a feeling,” Michael A.

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Goodman taught during a session of BYU Campus Education Week on Friday, August 21.

“If we could understand that, we would avoid so many of the pitfalls that beset wonderful Latter-day Saints that want nothing more than a good relationship but—not understanding the true nature of love—make decisions about people and circumstances that aren't wise,” he said.

Mind you, love often brings all the rewards you could ever want, but if your motivation for it is yourself, it’s not love.” Brother Goodman shared the definition of love provided by President Spencer W.

Kimball, who said, “The love of which the Lord speaks is not only physical attraction, but also faith, confidence, understanding, and partnership. Basically, Brother Goodman said, individuals will know if they’ve found the right person after they’ve chosen whom to marry.

” In order to answer those questions, Brother Goodman said, individuals must understand the nature of “true love,” which always has two characteristics. “It gets us past the friend zone.” But it is only part of the equation.

“What the world defines as love is often simple infatuation, or to use Disney’s term, ‘twitterpation.’ The world disappears, everything goes silent, you get sweaty palms.

Each stage is important in the process, Brother Goodman said.

Stage One: Hanging Out Friendship in the “hanging out” stage provides opportunities to learn how an individual acts in a group or how he or she acts when not trying to impress anyone.

As one woman put it, marrying herself allowed her to see that all the love she needed was inside herself.

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